Bored During Senior Design Class...

October 23, 2006
Senior Design Class

Tim: I am using Notepad to take...NOTES!

Tim: Square keyboards suck!

Tim: I think Mercedes has a 8-speed automatic transmission.

Brandon: It's Lexus (LS 460)

Tim: That's right! That kicks ass.

Brandon: It also parallel parks itself.

Tim: is that the car that does that? Man, Lexus is doing some pretty sweet stuff lately. They should design a 3wheel HPV for us.

Brandon: I'd still rather have the Mercedes because of the pestige and German engineering.

Tim: Btw, The Prestige...good movie. Had the atmosphere of Batman Begins and the crazy puzzle shit like Momento (sp?).

Brandon: Never saw it. But did see Batman Begins.

Tim: I think Matt needs a wireless keyboard so he can join in on the conversation.

Brandon: Agreed.

Tim: We are redefining "online chat". New Offline features! chat with people right next to you on the same computer!!!

Brandon: Who would have thought of it? People like us I guess.

Tim: To bad i'm not a CS student. I could turn in Notepad as my senior design project for an offline messenging service.

Brandon: LMAO

Tim: File transfer feature would be instant. Just copy and paste.

Brandon: From a flash drive, of course!

Tim: Ya but that might put lag on it. It wouldn't be instant anymore, but close! Are we suppose to be learning things?

Brandon: A little...

Tim: I just learned that X=performance! So the movie XXX really means Performance Performance Performance!

Brandon: Or Triple Performance.

Tim: Sounds like a new Power Bar.

Brandon: 3 times the shit, half the calories.

Tim: Packing more cardboard flavor into every bite!

Brandon: Or it sounds like a new Viagra product for "enhanced male performance" times 3. Instead of having an erection for 4 hours, you have it for 12.

Matt: (written on a paper airplane and thrown at me from behind. The plane is labeled "The Wireless Keyboard"):You guys are nuts. I'm not learning anything. But now i want to see the Prestige. Thank God He's wrapping up. I am about to put my eyes out with this wireless keyboard.

Tim: Wow an erection for 12 hours, sounds like a good prank in the making. (Throws "The Wireless Keyboard" back)

Brandon: What do you mean? How would this prank work?

Tim: I give you some triple performance viagra, and you walk around with a trouser tent all day. I laugh.

Brandon: I don't need any of that stuff, give it to Matt.

Tim: "edit" I give Matt some...

Tim: I'm going to go outside and fart, cuz i don't want it smelling by me.

Brandon: Hurry back, prerequisite test starts soon...

Tim: Haha some girl walked through it

Tim: Engineers are by far the most mature of all people alive. We are VERY serious.

Tim: Stupid pencil sharpener messed up my mechanical pencil.

Tim: Time for prerequiste test. Probably should have studied.

Coffee Iceburgs

I found out today that if the coffee in the coffee pot isn't kept warm, and you add attempt to mix it with powdered creamer and sugar, you get some really nasty and rather large floaties. When poured down the drain, the floaties clogged the drain cover. That is some really pissed off creamer!

Fortune Cookie Revolution

Alright, here's the situation. I just got from the new little restaurant named Chow. It's right by Chipotle and resembles the style.

Upon leaving, I received this fortune in my fortune cookie. My first reaction, "What a bullshit fortune!". I mean how is that suppose to help me in any way? So while I was driving home, I was thinking of fortunes that SHOULD be in fortune cookies. I mean, lets face it, fortunes suck these days. They're all like, "You may possibly have teeth" or "You ate Asian food". Well here's some of the fortunes my terrible mind came up with.

• You're going to get laid tonight
• Your car sucks
• The waitress likes you
• Your stomach is not going to agree with that sushi
• She has Herpes
• I told him you have Herpes
• You're not getting laid tonight
• Your check just bounced
• That wasn't chicken
• Your mom
• You're going to get hit by a drunk on the way home
• Tomorrow's Lottery number 1 2 3 4 5
• North Korea has nukes
• You'll discover the next big cure 10 yrs from now, to bad you'll die in 5
  

And that concludes my submissions for new fortune cookie fortunes. Got any good ones yourself? Post it in the comments.

The world through the eye of my camera phone...

Disclaimer: These are all real unaltered photos taken from my loyal cell phone on my random escapades.


















I was walking out of the Wal-Mart in Fayetteville, WV. As I journeyed between two cars in the parking lot this pink text catches my eye. I start laughing and some cop a few cars away gave me a weird look. I had to show the rest of the crew.

Next we had to check out the Povertyneck Hillbillies! They're just the coolest thing to hit this area of the gas station!! You know they're cool because their flyer covers up the other band flyer, "Caution: Wet Floors".


















This was actually at the same gas station as the Povertyneck Hillbillies flyer. This gas station was actually in PA, a rather rural part of PA. So when I saw this advertisement suggesting that stealing gas was back, somehow I got the message that the punishment for stealing gas in PA was getting butt raped by a black trooper.

"If you steal gas, Bubba's gunna get you"

















Wow. This is the construction sign at Wright State. Apparently, Butt Construction Co. is building the new addition to the Engineering building. The construction company must not have a marketing dept.

"Our asses build your shit"

The "I hate myspace" bulletin

Myspace bulletin

It's not usual for me to put something on myspace BEFORE i put it here, but i was going to write a complaining bulletin and it turned out kinda funny. So i'm posting it here for all of you that aren't my friend (on myspace).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You may have noticed I'm the "jerk" that breaks the chain letters and "keep this going! so little johnny can walk!" letters. I'm actually quite curious as to who actually writes these things? And why.

"I'm bored, i think i'll write some 4 page email about some stupid kid with.....uh....Malancer. It's an extremely rare combination of Malaria and Cancer. When these two diseases come together, it can be fatal! I know they can be very fatal by themselves, but not quite AS fatal as when they form Malancer. Nobody knows of a cure for this horrible disease until yesterday. Leading unnamed scientists wrote in a prestigious unnamed science journal that he made up that the only effect cure is mass emails and bulletins. So this is how we can save this poor little boy. Send this bulletin to 10,000 people (and i've seen your friends list, so i KNOW that you actually know 10,000 people) in the next 5 minutes. This bulletin/email is linked to the Government's National Malancer Email Tracking Database, so it will track how many people you send this to and also how many times it's sent. They tally all the emails up and for every one sent, they will conjure up 10 cent. This isn't a joke! If you don't send this to 10,000 people in 4 minutes (you spend 1 minute reading the rest of this) you will die! Just kidding, but you'll never have a relationship, your car will be destoryed, your house will be robbed, and your cat will pee all over the carpet. So send it now!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
or now!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
**

*
**

*
*


*
*
*


*
*
*
**
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

*
now you only have 3 minutes

8
8
8
8
88
8
88*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Ok it's over now and you better send that to all your friends so that they can test their spam filters!



Anyways, i'm the person that never sends them and if you add up the 7 yrs of pain, 3 yrs of loneliness, 5 yrs of bad luck, 15 yrs of people saying "wow that kid's a loser!", and 4.5 years of bad healthcare, i'd end up being pretty screwed until i'm 60 or so. At that point i'll just very pissed and try to hit teenagers shins with my cane as i walk past them. ANYWAYS, don't send this to ANYONE. If you do, i'll call the RIAA and tell them that you downloaded Paris Hilton's new cd....and DIDN'T PAY FOR IT!

P.S. For those wondering who writes these and why, I write them. And i write them because i can...and you're cat's peeing.

Mechanical Engineering Project

In my Mechanical Design II class, I was assigned to find something mechanically broken and to redesign it. Like usual, a proposal was due Monday and I was still looking for something broken Sunday night. It seems everything that breaks at my apartment is an electrical problem, but here are some of the things I considered...

• Light bulbs: Now I understand light bulb do burn out. Mine burn out ever other month. I think it's something to do with the 8 computers running in the house along with the console*.
• Many broken harddrives: These are kinda broken because I tore them apart.
• My A/C unit: I could do a whole rant about this POS. It's some unit that it looks like some local company screw together some sheet metal and put a fan in it. Worst thing, the condesation collection tray is made from high-rust steel and guides the water away from the drain creating a small pool party in the corner of the tray. Good choice!
• Amy, my roommate's girlfriend: Ditziest person I know. I passed this one up, too hard of a project.
• A mangled set of Logitech headphone: I suffer from GT (Gamers' Tourette's). These headphone have gone through some abuse and have just popped back together (most of the time).

I think we're going to with a broken bearing from a drill for the project. Boring huh.

Haha! My reign of terror on the internet begins!

Sweet, a blog site that isn't blocked at work. Means I can write some good books here. This font is also rather inspiring and promotes creativity and long sentences. I started this blog just so I could comment on someone else's blog. I'd rather keep this one going, but I can't blog about my everyday life because the only one that would read it is my mom and maybe her neighbor. So I need to find a decent topic that doesn't involve me actually knowing anything about it.

I figure I'll make this a Tech blog. Everyone loves Tech Blogs right?...no? Well then I guess I'll just settle for my mom and neighbor reading this. Kudos to any geeks and nerds who happen to stumble onto this page!