Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The "I hate myspace" bulletin

Myspace bulletin

It's not usual for me to put something on myspace BEFORE i put it here, but i was going to write a complaining bulletin and it turned out kinda funny. So i'm posting it here for all of you that aren't my friend (on myspace).

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You may have noticed I'm the "jerk" that breaks the chain letters and "keep this going! so little johnny can walk!" letters. I'm actually quite curious as to who actually writes these things? And why.

"I'm bored, i think i'll write some 4 page email about some stupid kid with.....uh....Malancer. It's an extremely rare combination of Malaria and Cancer. When these two diseases come together, it can be fatal! I know they can be very fatal by themselves, but not quite AS fatal as when they form Malancer. Nobody knows of a cure for this horrible disease until yesterday. Leading unnamed scientists wrote in a prestigious unnamed science journal that he made up that the only effect cure is mass emails and bulletins. So this is how we can save this poor little boy. Send this bulletin to 10,000 people (and i've seen your friends list, so i KNOW that you actually know 10,000 people) in the next 5 minutes. This bulletin/email is linked to the Government's National Malancer Email Tracking Database, so it will track how many people you send this to and also how many times it's sent. They tally all the emails up and for every one sent, they will conjure up 10 cent. This isn't a joke! If you don't send this to 10,000 people in 4 minutes (you spend 1 minute reading the rest of this) you will die! Just kidding, but you'll never have a relationship, your car will be destoryed, your house will be robbed, and your cat will pee all over the carpet. So send it now!
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or now!
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now you only have 3 minutes

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Ok it's over now and you better send that to all your friends so that they can test their spam filters!



Anyways, i'm the person that never sends them and if you add up the 7 yrs of pain, 3 yrs of loneliness, 5 yrs of bad luck, 15 yrs of people saying "wow that kid's a loser!", and 4.5 years of bad healthcare, i'd end up being pretty screwed until i'm 60 or so. At that point i'll just very pissed and try to hit teenagers shins with my cane as i walk past them. ANYWAYS, don't send this to ANYONE. If you do, i'll call the RIAA and tell them that you downloaded Paris Hilton's new cd....and DIDN'T PAY FOR IT!

P.S. For those wondering who writes these and why, I write them. And i write them because i can...and you're cat's peeing.

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