Friday, April 20, 2007

If I was crippled...

(Best if read with a mind prone to mental images)

I was walking across campus the other day and my mind was wondering like usual. I try not to keep my mind on a leash and many times it wanders, often to people's offices and messes up their paperwork. The topic of the day was "If i was crippled" and by crippled, i mean no use of the legs. So if I was crippled, I'd probably kill myself. No, i wouldn't be so depressed that i couldn't play soccer or go biking that I'd take my own life, I mean I'd kill myself because I'd just HAVE to get a kick-ass wheel chair. So if I was permanently in a wheel chair, I'd be tearing around the place, popping wheelies everywhere, going down stairs, and taking it off jumps. The most used to the wheel chair i got, the more dangerous stuff i would do. So eventually, I'd either become more crippled or I'd probably get in some awful accident after being pulled by a car up to 35 mph from a tow rope pretending I'm "water skiing".
The only kind of crippled that would totally suck would be if I was paralyzed from the neck down. Even if I couldn't use my arms to push a wheel chair around, I'd still get one of those electric ones. I'd juice it up and take it out to the track. It might also be fun to act retard, then run over people's feet. Maybe even modify it with a full foam bumper so that I could fall asleep at the wheel and careen into walls.


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